Our “Tools” & Responsibility

Not too long ago, I came across someone who I just could not deal with.  This person’s energy was so heart wrenching and all I could see in front of me was this vortex like a black hole and I could not get away.  I was constantly filled with hate and anger… only to find myself years later that this person was my mirror of what I had inside.  In thinking about what is healing… about “common” sense…. I’m now questioning for the first time what the “power” of being able to see past lives is.  This person that I couldn’t deal with was someone that I’d met in another life time, causing so much damage and mayhem to a whole community, killing me in the process.

In looking back now, I was caught in this emotional whirlpool… and then just went along with that.  Prior to that, I’d never even questioned what a past life is… I just took it as something that happened to me… that I remember my other life times… that’s it.  Is this why I was caught in this person’s energy and lost myself?  Is this the reason why dad said to me then that I should steer away from those that I’d met in other life times?  I recently asked dad about this and he said to me that the person that I was such that it was best not to be with those from other life times.  But what about now?  I know someone who is living with those from other life times.  The major difference myself and this person who can happily live with those from other life times is that this person seems to understand something about the “self” which I do not at this present time… though this past week I’ve begun to see bits and pieces of my values.

Responsibility… that’s what one of the elders talks about in one of the videos I posted below: “saving grace.”  Is my “job” to seek and find out what the responsibility of being able to use a tool known as “past life memory”?  Is this the job of each and everyone of us?…. to find out what the gift which each and everyone of us have inside and share them with others so that they may know what each of our human (or possibly beyond humans) capabilities are?  Is this the reason why we are all here?  Is this what the elders mean when they say we are all made of the Earth?

I guess I identified with my “tool,” made it part of my identity, who I am.  But I am not that am I?  No, I don’t think I am.  I can talk with “dead” people but I never wanted to use it just because someone just wanted to talk to a dead person… there was something inside of me that said that I never want to use this tool unless it was truly needed by the person seeking its use.. I just couldn’t do it, just didn’t want to do it like a lot of “psychics” do and make it into an business… yes we all need money to live, but between using this ability and putting myself out there and saying I can converse with dead people and finding some other form of employment, I never hesitated to choosing other forms of employment… I never knew why I felt strongly about this, but I think I do now.  I could not have lived with myself had I gone the business route with this “tool.”  I know I would have gone crazy and killed myself.  I know that, because that’s how strongly I’ve always felt about it… still do… though I would not kill myself now.  So that would mean that I simply do not use my tool unless someone comes along and they are truly in need of it.  I know when someone or the situation that someone brings to my life needs it because the “tool” just comes out and I just start speaking and telling this other person what they seem to need to hear.  I’m like a conduit, being used by my tool… I think that’s how we should all be… that’s how we come to know we are all made of Earth… not taking advantage of it… being controlled by the tool, but becoming a servant to one of many tools that humans possess… that’s it.

My hands are hurting now so I’ll just post this and continue later on.